She sat in her room with the darkness falling in
And Began to ripped the pages out of a small diary
paragraphs were filled with text deeply engraved
visibly indicating days that weren’t her best
but no matter what,
there was always something there,
something marked ,something printed, enrolled, scratched .erased. Carved, recorded or written neatly
Just something
some form of acknowledge meant that each day
was different from the last
And if she decide to assemble theses pages together again
A story would unfold
See
this little book
held a year of words unsaid .
Thoughts and emotions that were never expressed
Times she felt the future would never come
Secrets that were never to leave the tip of her tongue
Memories that lights up her face to this day
spiritually cant be erased
all within her diary
launching the date January first 2009
It reads:
“ is it a crime for me to be going to school and enjoying a hobby that I love to do. I don’t feel wanted here. I need to leave wish I had a my own space ASAP a car to fuckin drive away. Its hard enough im dealing with school now my parents aren’t talking to me and im stripped away from the one thing that keeps me sane.. All I want to do is dance and go to school why cant anyone understand that…………..”
As she continues to read
tears start to fill her eyes
So She proceeds
Ripping away each page that reminded her of the days she felt alone
No one to hear her cry..
Just a bucket to confine the tears that would soon over flow
See this
was jus the beginning
If it aint one things it’s the another
Now Schools becoming harder then she thought
Clothing has now become her disguise
Moneys becoming n issue n every day she questions y
So she rips
Tearing away every single page
Every moment that was placed on a leaf
Every ups and downs that was that was funded by the ex that was all about himself
To blind to see
that she, her, did everything possible to not become
“That Girl”
The one who cared for a person who hardly returned the love
The one who allowed herself to be indoctrinated by a guy
F.Y.I who never took intrest in her goals, dreams or anything of that kind.
“That Girl”
The one who called waiting to hear a hello
but got the voice mail instead
The one the who felt un appreciative but still stayed
“That Girl”
And with each date being recorded there was proof in which she did became “That “
.363,364,365.366, and shes done
Ripping the last page of the chapter
Some significantly more important then others
What ever the case maybe
The diary of words unsaid is gone
So she smiles
loving the relief and joy of starting a new year
The idea of having a second chance
New goals, new ideas, new friends, new challenges, new expectations, new love, new life
With a new diary in her left and a pen in her right
She launches the date January 1st 2010
To acknowledge that this year will be better then last, as she runs to the future n let goes the past
- Written By Kamara Brown
